primary vs secondary

So I have been avoiding supply work in secondary schools, and sticking with the less harmful wee ones in primary (the English apparently don't care what you are actually qualified to teach). I had a feeling, an inkling, a suspicion, a small voice in me, that told me however noisy and shitty primary kids were with substitute teachers, the secondary ones would be ten times worse.

Well, last friday I watched in horror as an interview at a secondary school somehow turned into a 'trial day' which I foolishly allowed to be turned into a 'trial week'. I felt bad for the kids, they'd had fill-in teachers on and off all year, and I hoped that maybe I would be their last. I thought that perhaps going into the class, and letting them know that I would be sticking around for a while might make all the difference in their eyes.

Weeeeeeeeell.......do you think that I could even let the students know who I was? Could I be heard at any point over the mass chatter/screaming/banging/fighting/swearing (and I am not a quiet person myself)? Could I even attempt to introduce a lesson? Could I get a student to turn around and look at me? Or to sit down? Or to get off the tables? Or to turn the lights back on? Or to stop shouting? Turn off the music on their mobile? Stop throwing pencils? Stop punching, pulling, poking, kicking, vandalising? Or at the very least to fuck off out of the damn classroom?

No. Nothing. I was utterly powerless. And even worse off because I was stuck outside the school in a mobile unit with nobody around to help.

Unfortunately it didn't take long for me to resign myself to the fact that this was more of a babysitting mission than teaching.

And I really want to teach secondary. I want to be able to have conversations with students. I want to discuss novels, and interesting characters, and amazing plots. Find out what interests them and who they really are.

Up until now the most interesting conversation I've held with a student in primary went something like this:

Me: Now Kayla, can you tell me why Jeffrey is in the corner crying?
Kayla: No.
Me: He said it had to do with something you did during break time.
Kayla: I didn't do anything.
Me: Can you think really hard for me, just before you came in from break what were you doing?
Kayla: Right before I came in? Oh, well he was standing there with Tosin, and I called Jeffrey Pinky, and I called Tosin the Brain and then I was singing "Pinky and the Brain, Pinky and the Brain, Pinky and the Brain, Pinky and the Brain..." Yeah, you think it was that? Or maybe it was when I called him a poo head.

I thought as the days went on the decisions would be made easier. *sigh*, but they aren't...